To Go Back or Move Forward

 Leaning against the soft back of that chair I always sit in at the cafe typing rapidly as my thought process picks up. I'm also keeping and eye or more or less, an ear out for that noise. 'tk' There. I wasn't sure where that sound was coming from but it was distracting so I looked up over the lap top. There he was staring at me, he looks so goofy when he grins like that I can't help but to smile back at him. Usually when I grin back we end up in a fit of laughter. I love how predictable we are. "When will you be done with your resume and applications?" he whines because he knows I hate it. "I'll be done when I'm done, how come you haven't worked on your patience?" He grins bigger "Miss Ray you know the answer to that." I roll my eyes, ya I sure do know the answer to that. Keith has never been a patient man. That's one of the reasons why we are best friends. We had dated for some time back in high school and our relationship was good, but when I turned 18 I wanted to do a little soul searching so we went our different ways. I wanted to be with him but not at that moment and he couldn't wait around for a silly girl to figure out who she was. Nor did I ask him to. Years down the road we reconnected and our friendship blossomed, He's one of the few people that I will go out of my way for. It's mutual. 'tk' That sound is really driving me nuts. "Keith, what are you doing?" "Nothing." he answered too quickly "I don't believe you, go buy me a soda." He stands and walks away, I watch him leave. When he rounds the corner he turns in a circle and winks at me. This goofy kid is by far the silliest man child I've ever known. He's good company. Back to my resume, I type out what I need to and double check it like I should. I pause and re read it just to make sure it sounds good. It sounds too good. Even though this process is a pain in the ass I'm actually enjoying it. Day one isn't that bad, it's just putting a metaphorical foot in front of the other metaphorical foot. So far, progress is slow, but I'm getting somewhere.  "I thought you said you were going to give yourself a little bit of time before you jumped right into all of this." That's true I did say I was going to give myself a break for a couple days but I just couldn't. After I had finished my last day of work I was a little upset. I walked home and along the way I decided that I wasn't going to freak out, I wasn't going to cry or feel bad for myself but instead I was just going to do what I needed to do. Find another job. Then I became excited, a new job means new friends, and new work family. Just as each job varies so do the experiences you'll have while in that job. So I went home and celebrated. "I changed my mind." 'tk' "Did you hear that Keith?" "Hear what missy?" "Nothing, never mind I'm going crazy, quit calling me missy." "Ok Miss Ray" 'tk' "So what kind of job are you trying to find?" "Just something that I have to sit at a desk to do." "When are you going to live your own life style." "What are you talking about, I do live my own life style." "Not the one I remember you telling me about." I looked up from the laptop once again. I looked up and up it felt like it took forever for me to look up his tall stature and into those beautiful eyes. That was all it took, one look into his soul and he took me back in time to a night we were star gazing and talking about life. Young and dumb and in love. We shared our thoughts about what the future would hold for us and we talked about the things we wanted to do as careers. Keith had wanted to own his own body shop, he loves working on cars and trucks. I had wanted to never have to step foot in an office. I had a hippie dream of just having little jobs that I could do through out the week. Floral shops, bar tender, music store, coffee house, librarian and on the weekends I wanted to volunteer at the Animal Hospital. I didn't want to do just one thing, I wanted to do everything. I laugh at how ridiculous this sounds but I am smiling ear to ear as I write this because I know in my heart I still want to live that crazy life style. 'tk' I snap back to the present, some time along my reminisce I had turned to look out the window and was fixated on air."You look pretty when you do that but after five minutes I started worrying if you'd ever come back." "I definitely didn't want to," I sighed a deep sigh of nostalgia before I continued "Everything was so much more simple then, I can't believe we wanted to grow up. Now we're adults and this sucks and all I want to do is go back." I continue working on my application only to drift back to those ideas I had as a kid. I exit out of the application and start searching for bars that are in our area. There isn't really a whole lot of options in this town. You have your biker bars, the country bar, the dance clubs and restaurants. 'tk' Maybe I could become a stripper. "Don't smile like that Miss Ray, people will know you're thinking dirty thoughts." "Shut up Keith, you're the only person who can read my mind." I weigh the options in my mind. This is crazy. But I'm just crazy enough to do it. I need a little bit more adventure in my life. Maybe this was meant to happen. "Ok Missy lets go but first you have something in your hair." I look up just in time to see him blow a piece of napkin through a straw and launch it into my long thick hair. 'tk' He smiles.