Live a Little

Sunday afternoon, a day of relaxation. First thing about myself is that I hardly ever relax. Unless I'm reading my books over coffee in the early morning or blogging I'm usually on a constant Go Go Go. There are things to do and people to see, chores, work or favors for friends and family. I do get the occasional adventure and most recent one was just yesterday.

In order to avoid walking home in this late summer heat I braved a ride on the back of a motorcycle. I was terrified. I hate not being in control in situations where I know physical pain is a possibility. I was nervous, shaking even before I even accepted the offer.

Safety first, squeezing the helmet on sighing deeply to ease my anxiety. I fumbled around blindly with a chin strap that was unfamiliar. "Here, let me help you" I leaned my head back and looked toward the sky wondering if this was going to be the last time I would ever see clouds again. I shook with fear again. "Would you rather walk?" It's August, the heat is suicide and I was wearing pants and dress shoes, not something that is ideal for walking other than around the office. So I shook my head. I couldn't believe my friend forgot to pick me up. They say when one door slams shut in your face another door opens. This has proved to be true time and time again. So there I was, feeling like a fish in a bowl with that helmet on. This was an interesting perspective and I could see the terror in my own eyes being reflected off the shield that kept the wind out of my eyes.

I looked at that motorcycle, it seemed so dangerously small and I questioned the stability of it. Shining in the suns light, leaning on it's stand. Deep breath Kelli Ray, everything is going to be alright. Nothing is going to happen. You're going to laugh at yourself when you're home safe and sound. I didn't even know where to put my feet. "Keep your leg away from the exhaust, sit naturally and fight the urge to lean away from turns. We don't want to fall over." oh Lord "Wrap your arms around my torso that when we turn you'll lean with me and it won't be a problem. I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

Was my horror that obvious? I looked down at the ground, my body was shaking. Another deep breath and I climbed onto the motorcycle. The engine roared and the bike shook a new fear into me. We were off, the sudden lurch startled me and tested my hold, Thankfully I had a death grip on him or I'd have been sure to fall off.

We hit two Round about's and one stop light. The ride was short and when I finally put my feet back on the ground, where I like my feet to be, I exhaled for the first time it felt since I got on the motorcycle. I was afraid and my fear definitely seems silly now. Maybe that's why my friend sent her fiance to pick me up. I recalled our conversation earlier this week, she was on lunch from work, a job she loves but loves even more to complain about. It was my day off so she came to my house as she usually does. "You need to live a little!" I looked down at my tea "Come on, it's been a year since you and your husband split up. What have you done? What have you seen?" She looked at my questioningly as if my silence proved her point. "I've gone to a concert." I said a little more harshly than I intended. "Well excuse me but ONE concert is NOT living Kelli Ray. You need an adventure, a road trip, a one night stand for hell's sake." I laughed because that is just like her to say something of that nature. She's bold, confident and beautiful. Honest, sometimes more honest than I can stand but she helps me pull my head out of my ass from time to time when I really need it. She likes making decisions for me and I don't mind because if she didn't I more than likely wouldn't take the initiative to do a lot of things. Like getting on the back of a motorcycle.

"How was it? Did you shit yourself?" I could hear the excitement in her voice "It was good and no I didn't shit myself." I laughed as my imagination made cartoons of a different story line on the situation. "Yeah I heard you have quite the grip." I laughed again before she continued "We have a group going to Pine View, want to come?" I had nothing better to do "Suuure, we're riding motorcycles through the canyon aren't we?" "YUP!" Smiling I told her I'd be ready in twenty minutes.